Boring...

Haiz.. Why must all this holiday be so boring? I just can't stand it though. I'm currently having my FINAL week of my 3 week holiday.. so dam boring!! >.< ._." Life as a RP student enjoys school than anything else. Tht's how i feel. This long stretch of holidays there's isn't anything else for me to get occupied at all! Gaming? nah no thnks.. somehow all the games kinda boring though... nth more interesting than schooling and having fun with my buddies and frens..

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All i could do is..:

Wake

Eat

Surf web

MSN-ing

Play Piano

Eat

Swim

Eat

Sleep

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RP water polo's getting worse. Management of training schedules and understanding of their own polo mates are not there.. Nvm.. To hell with Polo. I'll jus head towards my ultimate goal which is set since a kid. Swim towards the ultimate Olympic Dream.. Champion~ Like Phelps.. LOL. He's darn cool. Saw his diet, (i can finish it w/o doubt). LOL. For real. Really. Swear. I hope to achieve my peak again. Then from then on, i can really boosts all the way. I really need my peak as a source of motivation.. Haiz..

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These days, not quite in terms with my mum.. She's a bit naggy once again and she's always there to raise unnecessary issues up all time. Short-tempered me, really really stir up loads of quarrels for the sake of rights, justice and logic................................................To hell with tht.

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All these days, boring holidays. Holidays are always on the constant to drift me away from the reality to the World of Dreamland and Thoughts. But most of the time, it jus drift all the way and makes me think back about the one that I loved (though it had nvr progressed and being expressed at all). When i start thinking of her, flashbacks about the pasts occurs and somehow i would start to feel the tinge of sadness, regrets, loneliness, emotionless but somehow abit of frustration, anger and hatred somehow.. due to various sort of reasons and unknowns.................................. What's is it really like being in love? What's it like being loved? How is it like being in a relationship? What exactly happens when engaged in a relationship?

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I'm not dying to get engaged in a relationship. But it's just the curiosity and the feelings that i experience when i start thinking of her. I'm seriously lost. sometimes i think back. Is this world REAL? I'm always trying to contact her, trying to make the move although it's hard. But she's always "not allowing" it to happen though. Well since it's that way, i can't really help it though. I guess i jus have to slowly loosen my fingers of her hands and bid her goodbye. Hope we'll meet or get together some day, some other time.. I just find it rather hard to accept that whether she did wear the necklace i gave her. I really spent alot time preparing it and really really wanna treasure the relationship between us. Even if it's just friends, hope it will be something to remind each other about it. But it all seems ironic that she did accept it willingly and wear it.. I dunno. My mind's currently in a whirl now, thinking back and typing it all out.. I just really really like her. But i dunno how to express it. i'm really tactless.. i seriously dunno wad to do. But i'm thinking back. Must i really need to have a relationship now? I'm really lost like as though stuck in the middle of two dimensions. If she's attach, i'd give her my blessing. I'd be happy for her. Just let it go and it'll be all over between us. No matter what, i just wish to get the misunderstandings and make things clear about what is happening between us.

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Still, all the best for her Os.