Comeback

10th, 11th & 12th April 2009
ASEAN Cup Swimming meet took place in Singapore Sports School. Individual events : 100m free and 50m fly. Relays: both 4x100m medley (free leg) and 4x100m free relay

Friday:

I was having my individual events 100m free and 50m fly then on the 10th. It wasn't a great one though as i was rather disappointed with myself for not being at my peak, in order to do a Personal Best time.

Saturday:

I was having relay as the only event that i'm having for the whole competition on this day, 4x100m medley relay. It was rather an unlucky day for me. The story goes this way. There is 2 session in each day of the competition and the relays are the last events of each days of Saturday and Sunday. So I reached the Venue at SSS, started my warm up by swimming laps and practising a few starts then followed by resting by my bag or to watch the competition as time passes by. It was 100m fly events right after the interval and so i waited patiently for my relay. I waited and waited and finally the time came.

But, I continued to wait, hearing from people around me saying that there were some technical faulty/difficulty while preparing for the relay. So i waited for the officials to fix it. But after 1hr+, with my 1.5L H-TWO-O and a MARS bar finished, they announced that the relay event will be postponed to the next day, after the 4x100m free relay. I was sort-of depressed. Because i've wasted time there, just to rush down to SSS to warm up and to stone the whole day. I was even looking forward to do a whole new PB time in medley relay for 100m free then followed by the next day with a fresh start, another try for a PB in 4x100m free relay. Then it ended up with 2 events in the same day which i think it's rather hard to set new times consecutively one after the other event in the same day.

Sunday:

Rather a sucky day as it went per normal. i didn't do well for the 100m in 4x100m free relay, but the medley relay result is much better by 1 sec. But it is still quite a pathetic timing as compared to the average timing of what others have at my age.

Later on, we had the farewell dinner for the foreign swimmers who came from other parts of SEA. It was rather fun and i think i enjoyed being with the kids around me at my table. Being with kids really bring joy and fun. I joked with them quite a lot as compared than usual.

There are some real fun time that we had during the farewell dinner. Such as Andrew drinking the disgustingly mixed "Prawn-head chicken soup" whereby the soup itself already smelled funny (maybe it didn't suit my taste),

My table being the messist table as though a war had just engaged and it looks like the aftermath,

My club, The Grassroot Aquatic Club, was encouraged to exchange gifts/"souvenirs" with other clubs from local or foreign, but we were given badges that we, the swimmers, didn't had high hopes in exchanging the badge with some other things like track suit, shirt, or towel or maybe even a puny pen or another different badge. What's funny is that one of the Brunei Junior swimmer came to my table and asked whether we would want to exchange anything. But all we have is a stupid bunch of badges given to each of the TGAC swimmers.

So i offered to exchange 1 badge with this boy wondering what he might offered. But he had a moment to examined what badge am i having but it turns out that he already exchanged with someone with a pen for this badge. But seeing that he had a shirt in his right hand but it was too late to ask him whether i can have that as he had walked off fast to eye on other clubs. I gave the idea to my juniors that since 1 badge = 1 pen, why don't 10 badges = that shirt he's holding? Then my juniors were laughing at the comparison and all sounds like exchanging for prizes with tokens in a Arcade.

The final joke of the day was that supposedly each of the clubs were suppose to perform up on stage for performance, as part of the programme of the dinner. Unfortunately, for these 3 days of competition and even before this meet, we weren't even informed that we are supposed to perform something on the last day. But all spells no wonder there were swimmers reharsing dance in the intervals of the meets in those 3 days. So we had trouble and we actually... ... ... panic. So I gave another idea again, but this time to all the swimmers in TGAC, that we are rushing to the exit at the back once they called our club's name to go up on stage. Majority agreed to it and we waited, trying to chill. So what happens in the end is that the Juniors all rushed for the exit, leaving the senior swimmers infront to stay in their seats after the MC called us. So as the seniors continued to stone in their seats wondering around and dragging time, the MC had no choice but call the other upcoming club to perform instead.

Looking ahead

I was seeking for help for months. From my club-mates to coaches and friends. Time-to-time, seeking for self-improvement. But it was too late for ASEAN cup but it was never too late for future competition. What makes me wanting to carry on striving is that i can't stand seeing my juniors starting to become so much better than me or the ones who are same age but joined swimming later than me to improve so much.

What fears me is only the limited amount of years left for me to be able to swim/train to reach the ultimate goal, at least to qualify for Olympics finals, at the very least, to be the 8th of the finals or being the best, a record-holder. After reflecting on what will happen in the following years is that most likely i'll enter NS in 2011, leaving NS at 2013. Then it's either i continue with University or work right away ( major problem is the money needed to fund my studies ). But hearing advices and consoles for my panics that most swimmers are having peak at the age of 20+. So i was thinking to train hard for this year, 2009, and followed by 2010, 2011, 2013 and so on. By 2013 i'm already 22. By then i've gotta put in alot more effort so as to reach at least nearing or already-world class, but not forgetting the younger aged ones who are catching up and in competition with me.

Furthermore, thinking about personal future in terms of lifelong planning. I hope to be able to be engaged by 20+ too, which makes alot problems. Because it means that i have to work already after NS. But it all seems so messed up that i do not know what to do. That's why i hated Singapore. Wasting 2 precious years in NS, which makes Singaporean guys a big headache and problem in achieving their ultimate goal. I wonder how am i gonna survive this way. I'm not quitting Swimming as long i make it to world standard. One thing for sure, Lifesaving will be a lifetime and i'm not letting go of it even when i start working.

Memories Haunts me on 21.03.2009 and 4eva more

It's been a long time since i've last posted any thing on this blog. I didn't really make a habit to do so though.. But i just feel like pouring out my feelings whenever i feel like it, doing so on a blog. It feels much better and easier than talking and speaking to my friend directly.. it feels awkward, my imagination may start swirling, i'll be talking crap and i may sound naive in certain ways..

It's been holiday for like nearing 2 months (or maybe more or less, didn't make the effort to calculate), I've been staying at home, doing nothing much, just computer-ing, gaming, waiting for time to pass by till it's time to set off from home for my swimming training. The location of my training has been changed from Toa Payoh to Yio Chu Kang, which is much nearer to my home, but i still somewhat dislike the pool even though i "visit" YCK pool weekly for still-water trainings. Whenever i swim backstroke, my eyes are always directly blinded by the Sun, which distracts me from swimming properly and unable to focus.

Other than Swimming, gaming and staying at home, there's been Lifesaving trainings (Open water (which means out in the sea)), in Sentosa. It's rather enjoyable during every single training. And it is only till today.. which i doesn't feel the same as what i do normally.. (I'll talk about this later.)

Everyday, staying at home, hoping that my lifeguard application job in Safra Yishun to be approved, even till today. But i'm given assurance that i'll be chosen for the job (not surprising.. they are always lacking manpower for the job)

I have no idea whether to dread going to school or should i be looking forward to it. I love going to school is that i'll be making more new friends and meeting up with my new schoolmate who was once my classmate back in secondary school and also my Swim teammate (he's gonna be my junior). Once the new semester start, i'll have more things to do and the project named Professional Profiling will be needed to be done within the year. I've heard that it has alot of difficulty and face-to-face interview might be needed, which i've no experience at all with anyone.

Alright back to the Sentosa thingy, which i've promised to resume.

I used to enjoy my time, the whole spending in Sentosa this year for the trainings.. plyaing with the rescue surfboard, with or without the usage of paddles. Out in the sea, sailing through and challenging the waves, sitting by the shore and enjoying the weather. But today, it was rather tiring. I've gotta get up so early and meet at the Harbourfront station to wait for my coach who promised to meet at 8.30am by the control station. But what turns out to be a whole big group of people are waiting for him just for today's training. But some are just present to get a feel of doing lifesaving surfboarding at sentosa while some are my new juniors for the competition squad. Then the first thing that came to my mind is that,"I'M SO DEAD". There's too many people to coach and aid along.

I was told in private the other day that my previously-was-crush (i don't have any now. Single.)is gonna be present. But it was expected that she will be making it down with her new boyfriend. But on the way with these newbies to the Sentosa station and to the Beach, many thoughts are running through me..

The thought of her, wasn't something controllable. I'm lost at the same time of what to do.. I've forgetting her after several months of effort and now the memories started haunting me again like there's no tomorrow.

I felt joy, depressed, lost, tactless, anger with myself, and at the very least, jealous and envy. I dunno why but these feelings just came to me. Joy for the past memories i had, depressed with what i am now but it doesn't matter though.. lost for what should i be doing today and what should I DO if i see her or if she talks to me, tactless for what i've done in the past causing anger to myself now and the jealous and envy is towards her new boyfriend, but of course, i'm starting to like being "nvm-and-it's-okay"... I can't really help it though.

During the earlier part of training, while doing the land trainings, she arrived with her boyfriend, along with our another friend. The 3 of them stayed at the lifeguard tower, preparing themselves up. While i'm leading the team, i caught sight of her. I really felt like how i dread and looking forward to school. I dread her from coming back, and memories haunting me once again, and also wishing her to return so that i could see her once again. I just seriously find myself useless for being so tactless and helpless. Since she's only in a relationship, why don't just win back her heart? But i've really no idea how to do so and I'm already trying effort to forget about her and my priorities are just firstly swimming and secondly, studies.

There was a short moment while nearing the end of the training, i sat by myself while taking a rest and thinking to myself, and also trying to clear my mind. Just then, KL came to me, he's always been my best buddy. I've also expected him to come over to gonna talk to me about it cos he's been trying to console me at times online in MSN. Talking halfway through about some minor stuffs, she came infront of us and started to talk to us. To my surprise, i was wondering why the sudden approach? Then i just replied normally and talked to her. But it all turns out to be nothing but a foolproof plan to distract and trick KL to mess up in a bunch of seaweeds. *heart drops to rock-bottom*

While going back to harbourfront station, while i lead the "newbies" once again to go back to station to return home sweet home, and while she accompanies her boyfriend out to continue touring around or dating, so we bade goodbye. She once again gave the sweet smile like she gave in the morning, that was unforgettable like what i've remembered before that came with the set of beautiful eyes when i first met her and talk to her while looking into her eyes for the first time, being able to look into someone's eyes while talking for quite a period of time. Even while going back home, i tried distacting myself and forgetting the thought of her by talking lots to my juniors. Sorry to them all for hearing so many craps that i've said and causing to ache so much in tummy while laughing.

But it still seems that she couldn't really accept me still and yet, as she's not gonna add me back on MSN and on facebook. She too didn't reply me on sms or answer my phone in rare occasions whenever i call her. Too bad she's not using friendster anymore.

I just hope that my mind will enlighten someday to the world out there, and also being able to have a miracle-gifted time for me to talk to her, without any displeasure for me to experience while trying to talk to her and make up everything for what i've did.






And it is true that no one really cares to console me or being by my side whenever i need someone most like situation like this. Especially those who knew my situation with her but not showing concern except KL and Isaac.

Great to have them both always.

Week...-.-

Monday till Friday wasn't a whole pleasant weekday at all... I had UTs again, worst of all, the intensive study I had done during the whole week

*

Wasn't enough sleep but forcing my way through the whole week to perform in a tip-top condition. At the end, down with flu on Friday..-.-

*

On Thurs after school, went to watch House bunny with W35K. Nothing much though, just some funny scenes.. I wanted to watch Max Payne with some of them. But we just listened and accompanied those who wanted to watch House bunny though..-.-

*

Friday wasn't pleasant day at all.

Serious case of Runny nose, sniffing myself all the way as though i'm sniffing instant glue.

Some unhappy and complicated events went on.

Seriously miserable and i hope not to talked about it.

Makes life difficult and I hope that I can forget it all and wash my hands off.

*

~.::TODAY::.~

Today was a big day, Saturday, which I attended a wedding dinner of my paternal relative's.

The place where i attended the wedding was held at a newly developed hotel in Tanglin, near Orchard, called St.Regis.

Soooooooooo Damn high class. 6-stars yer know?!

Service was so damn good. They opened the entrance door for you, people working in there are greeting you whenever they sees you, serving, guiding and attending to you for any kind of help you might have. Even if you are going to the restroom, someone will be postitioned there, asking you whether are you attending the restroom, guide you to the restroom and opening the main door for you to enter the restroom.

When I first went upstairs, outside the ballroom, during the cocktail session where the serve little appetizers and drinks, I'm like OMG!!!

Everyone's in the best suit and coat, ladies in their ballroom dresses, scarves and jewelleries on them. Everyone's so formal!

Greeted some relatives, slack around till 12.50pm then entered the ballroom.

*

It was the most fascinating part of the day. Whole place was tall, big, grand, elegant, luxurious and whatever you can think of for a 6-star high class place like this. =)

The food's nice, everyone's friendly.

Talked to an australian couple who just migrated to Singapore for years, the guy was a stockbroker, profession of doing banking and finance, once working with the bridegroom of the day before.

Great time talking to him =)

*

~.::Main issue::.~

While i was looking arounnd fascinated by the environment i was in after settling down around the table, turned around and at the instant, first time saw an Perfect-angel among the crowd...

She was so beautiful!!! >.<

When i saw her, my heart's like going 500bpm, my mind's shrieking,"SSSSSTRIIIIIKE!!!"

She had long black hair, fair complexion, her dedicated looks and elegant appearance.. AHH~

Indeed an angel.

She seems younger than me, maybe younger by somewhat.., 2 or 3 years old?

Shorter than me, my seriously i swear upon my name, i daresay she's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. =X

(maybe one of the few.. hehe)

Didn't get the chance to interact though... around with her parents and grandma.

At first she was sitting around a table nearby, which i can get to see her clearly and upclose.

Too bad, she moved away, instructed by her parents and went to another table.. (saddened)

But i still get to see her.. hehe

Wanted to talk to her but no chance at all.. But i think we managed to get eye contact ? hehe?

(ahh.. her bright and beautiful eyes)

YAY

I think i smiled abit. Did i? Did i not? BAH forgotten.. T.T so mesmerized.. ah~

Dunno what's her name and i've never talked.. except eye contacts..

What confuses me is that, is she a VERY DISTANT RELATIVE (unlikely but possible but bad), or is she a RELATIVE (very bad), or daughter of a particular family which her parents are the friend of the wedded couple(good and hope so)?

I solemnly swear and hope that i can see her again, either on the streets or another big event like wedding dinner or whatsoever though... T.T

(if only she was alone during a particular time and i can talk to her)

((but how to approach her at the start!!! *panics*))

*

After the meal, while setting off for home (still mesmerized and missing her),

when i was exiting the ballroom, she was around too, we exchanged eye contact again and too bad, we are both quiet and was pushed on by the crowd and she was guided away by her grandmother i guess..

*

Went home by train then by dad's car.. Home sweet home.

*

Her looks, especially the face shall never disappear from my mind. If only i have a memory recorder, to record and project out the visual image ^^ awww... haiz.. T.T misses her greatly..

Moi Week

For the whole week, hasn't been quite pleasant though..-.-

UT season's up again, forced me to be stuck in school and facing my lappy studying 6Ps and Quizzes.

Nothing much special, except that my Tuesdays and Thursday are abnormally free (no polo).

Basically, no pleasannt but smooth though.

I got 4 As and 1 B for D.G.!

WOOT

The tide's coming back.. XD

*

Saturday and Sunday, had IVP championships in Toa Payoh (woots TPY v^^v)

Finally met the other swimmers of my school, and it turns out that i know them!

Wanted to wake up at 5.30 and reach the pool by 7.30am. In the end, it turns out to be, i woke up at 7.30..-.-

*

Benjamin Kheng, Swimfast swimmer

Julien, ACE swimmer.

They are just pros. LOL

Saturday's event wasn't pleasing, my 100m free missed by 1 sec from best time.. 1.04mins. -.-

(not a long dist. swimmer though..-.-)

*

Sunday, was the best day.

(i still woke up late...-.- 7am...-.-)

After doing warm-up lap swims, went to the RP area to rest.

Slept there for half an hour while the technical problems goes on.

In the end, the touch-board's not gonna work...

DAMN

After moments of deperate waitings, 50m breast event finally arrived.

Achieved P.B. once again. 35sec. Woots.

Gonna improve on and on.. like.. 34..33..32..31..30..29... blah blah blah..

Then minutes later once again, 50m free arrived too! Bwahahaha

(supposedly Li Ning's event.. LOL)

UNFORTUNATELY..I swam 27.30sec.. Position 8th in the event. 1st guy was 24sec. 2nd guy was supposedly another 24sec. But he got DQed..-.-so everything moved up. Then i became 7th.

*

Luckily, i was given the chance ot swim the 4 x 50m free relay, and i'm going the 1st leg.

Made used of the 50m and swam and almost reached P.B., 26.86sec.. P.B. was 26.15 back then (almost 25sec..><).

What's worst is that when i used this timing of 26.15 to sub into the individual 50m event, i could actually achieve a 5th position!

What's worst, the new second place swimmer in the individual 50m free, is a 26sec swimmer too! dammit. Just that stupid touch, i can actually achieve a 2nd place. -.-

*

Anyways, i've sort of stabilised my timing as i swam 26 once again. But i can't confirm that as i'm always unlucky of not having my timing taken on touch-board for 50 free...-.-

Next year, there's gonna be a greater threat. If, two of my other friends make it to poly, I'll have a hard time making it to 2nd place though..-.-

NO WORRIES! They improve, i'll improve too!

*ROAR*

*

End of the day, bathed then set off for Lunch at subway.

Subway-Meltz is just the best.. ^^

After lunch, Jerome and Dharsy forced me, making me no other alternative to take, had to go for polo training after hours from lunch

Went to Jerome's house's neighbourhood, downstairs, slept on the benches to kill time.

Then went back to TPY complex again for training till 9pm

F***ING tired.

Saw Johnny-da-"almighty and power-rights-thirsty"

Spoils my day just by looking at him, having him around..

Then, had some meaningless match as revision for the tactics..

*

~.::Home Sweet Home::.~

Reached home, unpacked my bag, slumped into the sofa and rested

Minutes later, played the piano.. Feeling kinda bored. Trying to learn a new song.. Sick of playing the same old songs over and over again..

Then, shut the piano and had a drink of Orange Juice.

Curse F*** dammit. ?`-=[]\l;',./">~!@#$%^&*()_+{}:"<>?`-=[]\l;',./

Accidentally broke my favourite mug after drinking it.

Freaking another issue to spoil my day. idiotic.

Now typing this blog..

Sunday my-"Times"

Slept like a pig but dragged myself up after the night's darkness.

*

The night's chat still flash in my mind. Not haunting but flashing every now and then.

*

"It'll be over soon. I'm fine. This is my life and I controls it. Though i can't control fate, but every path of Life and Fate are created after every new decisions made at the end of every previous paths (situations) that I journeyed before. When it's fated to be with, bond it with. But if it's not, forget it. Carry on walking and wait at the same time. Stop waiting when the story's over"

I told that to myself.

*

Settled my breakfast and for hours later, set off from home to Asri's house for his Hari Raya celebration, which he invited me to attend. This year's much quieter than last year. 2 or 3 of our best friends aren't around unlike last year, which they atended, Nick, Ozy and Art.

This year, only KL, Vinny and I attended.

As super nice as usual, Asri's house. Really liked the design.

This time's visit, it's super lot of people. All cramped in there and loads of people whom i do not know. Felt so strange and somehow odd.. Because it's not just my nature, not greeeting anyone I see, especially to those who are closely related to the ones I know.

Had my lunch, sat on a sofa and continued snacking as per usual.. XD

(Standard Operation Procedure.. S.O.P.)

*

Not much interesting at all, stayed in Asri's "Room of Entertainment" the whole day.

Played comp, chatted, asked about each other..

Asri that funny "joker" who can't remember his NSP (Network Security Password), therefore i'm unable to use my lappy to access internet.

I just slacked, eat and watch TV. Nothing else. Borrowed his Desktop to online for awhile.

Halfway through, felt pointless going online as no one will talk to me these days.

No initia-tion by the others these days (except last night)

*

Hours later, Watched "The Island". Nice show

Some great actions and nice scenes of high techies. =) (*Awed*)

Some saddening and lovable scenes.. haha.. Nothing much though.. All i know is a lot of running done since the Climax.. Overall, 3.5 out of 5. =)

*

About to go off at the end of the show, Asri's mum urge us to eat again (i've ate countless rounds alr! ><)

After that, how sweet of Asri's mum to give as "Ang-Pow" because of their Hari Raya.. I just accept it in terms of appreciation and Asri's parents are really glad that we attended and came for visit, keeping close in touch.

At the end, good-o'bro Asri walked us to Admiralty station from his house. Not tiring but rather relax.

Continued chatting with them, from the regular casual to the rather in-depth ones..

Upon reaching the station,

Vinny, KL and I bade Asri goodbye and entered the station for the train

*

I alighted at Yishun and headed for the interchange for another bus ride.

Reached the estate then went to 7-11 to buy another loaf of bread for tomorrow morning. Dammit. All sold out. Even the grocery.
Curses

In the end spent 2bucks for a loaf of bread that is lesser and more expensive than the usual one i bought in 7-11.

Basket.

*

Home Sweet Home

*

Came online and started typing at 12.03am (late by few minutes and i reached the next day..-.-)

Earlier ytd and earlier today...

Yesterday

Went to Siti house for the Hari Raya celebration which she invited W15J. Hot and sunny trip to her house which is also in Yishun (convenient).

*

Her house is damn nice.

The moment we enter the house, Kubbon attacked the grapes at the instant and

said,"eh this one got seed or not?!"

Sat down somewhere snacking and watched "Shutter".

Somewhat funny but having the tiniest bit of feeling scary

(never watched it before but somehow can predict what'll happen next)

Some of them got shocked while watcing certain horror scenes.. Jazlyn almost choked while eating at the same time as watching..-.-

*

Soon, we had laksa for lunch! woo hoo!

The bean sprouts, cockles, Tao Pok, Fish cake and sprig onions (is that called this way?) are being stored into various containers on a assorted tray.

With the curry in the middle ^^

It tasted so good and it wasn't too spicy at all.. Kubbon and I had bowls of it. Good job to Siti and her mum. ^^

*

Next, we had dessert. Ice cream in glass with kit-kat as topping. Woot. Tasted so good and the appropriate dessert to accompany with the weather. Surprisingly, we get to eat that twice.

*

Shaik and Jerome reached her house 1 or 2 hours after we've reached. But waited for so damn long for Benji-mon. He arrived 5 mins before me departure from Siti house for another friend's house for his birthday party.

*

Departed from Siti house, set off for Kang Lun's house at Bendemeer. Took 857 and that bumpy long ride really made me to doze off. When i've reached Bendemeer, went to the block and took the lift up. Upon reaching, so damn many people are at the corridor. Surprisingly all the neighbours around are not bothered by it. I step out of the lift, everyone turned and look at me.

Stunned down there, thinking what happened. Stood rooted there, waved and said,"err..Hi?"

*

Rather bored. i went there, Isaac and the others haven't arrived. Loads of people i didn't know..

I just took some food, ate and sat down in the living room, watching TV.

Soon, the others arrived.

Christel and her BF, Bryan, followed by Felicia, Irving and Isaac. We sat down around a table and talked

As per usual, nothing much for me to talk about so rather boring..

To sum it up for the Birthday party, i wasn't having great time but bored there.

In the end, set off for home sweet home.

*

Step into my house, so damn freaking tired for the whole day's schedule. Bathed then went online on msn.

Was about to play my online game when the overnight-chat started, initiated by Raynor

*

I was rather surprised that he look up for me to help which i thought everything's smooth and the best for him. Had some "Man-to-Man" talk.

*

He was troubled over an issue (mainly about communication problems)

which somehow and somewhat i was pulled into

*

(I intend to keep it CONFIDENTIAL for the Welfare of those who are involved)

*

We chatted and I "listened" to what he have to say. Then try to aid him in certain areas.

Many things have already impacted me and was soon to be over but somehow i was being pulled into this matter.

*

It's like as though i'm walking along a concrete path, halfway through, my leg's stucked in a newly formed of concrete slab which it haven't been hardened.

*

I'm really lost and do not know exactly what happened. Therefore i'm not much of a help for him.

Certain issues I've already guessed all out and it happened to have 95% match to what i've guessed and expected.

Certain parts are surprising and disappointing

To be honest, I trusted him. But, i've yet to know a lot more. Therefore there are parts which i didn't quite believe it but i just gotta take it as a fact for the moment.

There are also parts which are heart-breaking. In terms of personal issues and friendship issues.

*

BUT I'M FINE STILL.

*

We chatted all the way till 3.10am. He have work the next day which is today, Sunday, therefore he had to sign off.

I told him the last few sentence and i hope he remembers (modified),

"Take a step whch you are approved and acknowledged for. If you stay in the same level as the other person, confusion may arouse due to different perspective and expectations, which may hurt someone on the way. Regardless between the 2 or the ones around them. Take the step and keep moving so that the other one can carry on walking in his pace, with his life. If you ever falls back, just get up again nd carry on moving ahead of the person who is still walking at the back. If you can't do it, have the other person to help you up or in the most intense circumstances, pass the baton or walk together down and not stop."

... ... turns out ... ...

*

All the ones that used to be my close buddies/friends,
Are drifting apart

All the ones that used to be my classmates,
We're having difficulty meeting up once again
*
The ones that use to SMS text me, MSN me and Talk to me AUTOMATICALLY,
they are not doing so anymore

The ones that looks for me for a listening ear,
Now left me at one corner to stone, nothing left to do

The ones that I like/loved (regardless items or people),
Fate is not getting us together, instead, pulling us apart.
And even further

What is not fated to be mine,
We just had to be cruelly forced to accept that it will never be mine somehow..
*
Those whom I trusted,
Seems to get less trustworthy as time passes by

Those who took my nature for granted,
Started to betray and hurt me once and again and over again

Those whom I cared for,
Are not noticing it

Those who told me about themselves,
It seems turns out to be the opposite

Whatever questions you asked and the answer you received from others,

Sometimes they are doing the opposites of their answers

Not just answers, but answers that affects a scale

*

At times when you need someone badly,

no one's around.

But when you are fine,

They are around.

Somehow at the wrong time

*

~.::The End::.~