.::My Will, My Life, My Destiny, My Fate...::.

Comeback

2009-04-17T00:58:00.004+08:00

10th, 11th & 12th April 2009
ASEAN Cup Swimming meet took place in Singapore Sports School. Individual events : 100m free and 50m fly. Relays: both 4x100m medley (free leg) and 4x100m free relay

Friday:

I was having my individual events 100m free and 50m fly then on the 10th. It wasn't a great one though as i was rather disappointed with myself for not being at my peak, in order to do a Personal Best time.

Saturday:

I was having relay as the only event that i'm having for the whole competition on this day, 4x100m medley relay. It was rather an unlucky day for me. The story goes this way. There is 2 session in each day of the competition and the relays are the last events of each days of Saturday and Sunday. So I reached the Venue at SSS, started my warm up by swimming laps and practising a few starts then followed by resting by my bag or to watch the competition as time passes by. It was 100m fly events right after the interval and so i waited patiently for my relay. I waited and waited and finally the time came.

But, I continued to wait, hearing from people around me saying that there were some technical faulty/difficulty while preparing for the relay. So i waited for the officials to fix it. But after 1hr+, with my 1.5L H-TWO-O and a MARS bar finished, they announced that the relay event will be postponed to the next day, after the 4x100m free relay. I was sort-of depressed. Because i've wasted time there, just to rush down to SSS to warm up and to stone the whole day. I was even looking forward to do a whole new PB time in medley relay for 100m free then followed by the next day with a fresh start, another try for a PB in 4x100m free relay. Then it ended up with 2 events in the same day which i think it's rather hard to set new times consecutively one after the other event in the same day.

Sunday:

Rather a sucky day as it went per normal. i didn't do well for the 100m in 4x100m free relay, but the medley relay result is much better by 1 sec. But it is still quite a pathetic timing as compared to the average timing of what others have at my age.

Later on, we had the farewell dinner for the foreign swimmers who came from other parts of SEA. It was rather fun and i think i enjoyed being with the kids around me at my table. Being with kids really bring joy and fun. I joked with them quite a lot as compared than usual.

There are some real fun time that we had during the farewell dinner. Such as Andrew drinking the disgustingly mixed "Prawn-head chicken soup" whereby the soup itself already smelled funny (maybe it didn't suit my taste),

My table being the messist table as though a war had just engaged and it looks like the aftermath,

My club, The Grassroot Aquatic Club, was encouraged to exchange gifts/"souvenirs" with other clubs from local or foreign, but we were given badges that we, the swimmers, didn't had high hopes in exchanging the badge with some other things like track suit, shirt, or towel or maybe even a puny pen or another different badge. What's funny is that one of the Brunei Junior swimmer came to my table and asked whether we would want to exchange anything. But all we have is a stupid bunch of badges given to each of the TGAC swimmers.

So i offered to exchange 1 badge with this boy wondering what he might offered. But he had a moment to examined what badge am i having but it turns out that he already exchanged with someone with a pen for this badge. But seeing that he had a shirt in his right hand but it was too late to ask him whether i can have that as he had walked off fast to eye on other clubs. I gave the idea to my juniors that since 1 badge = 1 pen, why don't 10 badges = that shirt he's holding? Then my juniors were laughing at the comparison and all sounds like exchanging for prizes with tokens in a Arcade.

The final joke of the day was that supposedly each of the clubs were suppose to perform up on stage for performance, as part of the programme of the dinner. Unfortunately, for these 3 days of competition and even before this meet, we weren't even informed that we are supposed to perform something on the last day. But all spells no wonder there were swimmers reharsing dance in the intervals of the meets in those 3 days. So we had trouble and we actually... ... ... panic. So I gave another idea again, but this time to all the swimmers in TGAC, that we are rushing to the exit at the back once they called our club's name to go up on stage. Majority agreed to it and we waited, trying to chill. So what happens in the end is that the Juniors all rushed for the exit, leaving the senior swimmers infront to stay in their seats after the MC called us. So as the seniors continued to stone in their seats wondering around and dragging time, the MC had no choice but call the other upcoming club to perform instead.

Looking ahead

I was seeking for help for months. From my club-mates to coaches and friends. Time-to-time, seeking for self-improvement. But it was too late for ASEAN cup but it was never too late for future competition. What makes me wanting to carry on striving is that i can't stand seeing my juniors starting to become so much better than me or the ones who are same age but joined swimming later than me to improve so much.

What fears me is only the limited amount of years left for me to be able to swim/train to reach the ultimate goal, at least to qualify for Olympics finals, at the very least, to be the 8th of the finals or being the best, a record-holder. After reflecting on what will happen in the following years is that most likely i'll enter NS in 2011, leaving NS at 2013. Then it's either i continue with University or work right away ( major problem is the money needed to fund my studies ). But hearing advices and consoles for my panics that most swimmers are having peak at the age of 20+. So i was thinking to train hard for this year, 2009, and followed by 2010, 2011, 2013 and so on. By 2013 i'm already 22. By then i've gotta put in alot more effort so as to reach at least nearing or already-world class, but not forgetting the younger aged ones who are catching up and in competition with me.

Furthermore, thinking about personal future in terms of lifelong planning. I hope to be able to be engaged by 20+ too, which makes alot problems. Because it means that i have to work already after NS. But it all seems so messed up that i do not know what to do. That's why i hated Singapore. Wasting 2 precious years in NS, which makes Singaporean guys a big headache and problem in achieving their ultimate goal. I wonder how am i gonna survive this way. I'm not quitting Swimming as long i make it to world standard. One thing for sure, Lifesaving will be a lifetime and i'm not letting go of it even when i start working.

Memories Haunts me on 21.03.2009 and 4eva more

2009-03-20T23:49:00.006+08:00

It's been a long time since i've last posted any thing on this blog. I didn't really make a habit to do so though.. But i just feel like pouring out my feelings whenever i feel like it, doing so on a blog. It feels much better and easier than talking and speaking to my friend directly.. it feels awkward, my imagination may start swirling, i'll be talking crap and i may sound naive in certain ways..

It's been holiday for like nearing 2 months (or maybe more or less, didn't make the effort to calculate), I've been staying at home, doing nothing much, just computer-ing, gaming, waiting for time to pass by till it's time to set off from home for my swimming training. The location of my training has been changed from Toa Payoh to Yio Chu Kang, which is much nearer to my home, but i still somewhat dislike the pool even though i "visit" YCK pool weekly for still-water trainings. Whenever i swim backstroke, my eyes are always directly blinded by the Sun, which distracts me from swimming properly and unable to focus.

Other than Swimming, gaming and staying at home, there's been Lifesaving trainings (Open water (which means out in the sea)), in Sentosa. It's rather enjoyable during every single training. And it is only till today.. which i doesn't feel the same as what i do normally.. (I'll talk about this later.)

Everyday, staying at home, hoping that my lifeguard application job in Safra Yishun to be approved, even till today. But i'm given assurance that i'll be chosen for the job (not surprising.. they are always lacking manpower for the job)

I have no idea whether to dread going to school or should i be looking forward to it. I love going to school is that i'll be making more new friends and meeting up with my new schoolmate who was once my classmate back in secondary school and also my Swim teammate (he's gonna be my junior). Once the new semester start, i'll have more things to do and the project named Professional Profiling will be needed to be done within the year. I've heard that it has alot of difficulty and face-to-face interview might be needed, which i've no experience at all with anyone.

Alright back to the Sentosa thingy, which i've promised to resume.

I used to enjoy my time, the whole spending in Sentosa this year for the trainings.. plyaing with the rescue surfboard, with or without the usage of paddles. Out in the sea, sailing through and challenging the waves, sitting by the shore and enjoying the weather. But today, it was rather tiring. I've gotta get up so early and meet at the Harbourfront station to wait for my coach who promised to meet at 8.30am by the control station. But what turns out to be a whole big group of people are waiting for him just for today's training. But some are just present to get a feel of doing lifesaving surfboarding at sentosa while some are my new juniors for the competition squad. Then the first thing that came to my mind is that,"I'M SO DEAD". There's too many people to coach and aid along.

I was told in private the other day that my previously-was-crush (i don't have any now. Single.)is gonna be present. But it was expected that she will be making it down with her new boyfriend. But on the way with these newbies to the Sentosa station and to the Beach, many thoughts are running through me..

The thought of her, wasn't something controllable. I'm lost at the same time of what to do.. I've forgetting her after several months of effort and now the memories started haunting me again like there's no tomorrow.

I felt joy, depressed, lost, tactless, anger with myself, and at the very least, jealous and envy. I dunno why but these feelings just came to me. Joy for the past memories i had, depressed with what i am now but it doesn't matter though.. lost for what should i be doing today and what should I DO if i see her or if she talks to me, tactless for what i've done in the past causing anger to myself now and the jealous and envy is towards her new boyfriend, but of course, i'm starting to like being "nvm-and-it's-okay"... I can't really help it though.

During the earlier part of training, while doing the land trainings, she arrived with her boyfriend, along with our another friend. The 3 of them stayed at the lifeguard tower, preparing themselves up. While i'm leading the team, i caught sight of her. I really felt like how i dread and looking forward to school. I dread her from coming back, and memories haunting me once again, and also wishing her to return so that i could see her once again. I just seriously find myself useless for being so tactless and helpless. Since she's only in a relationship, why don't just win back her heart? But i've really no idea how to do so and I'm already trying effort to forget about her and my priorities are just firstly swimming and secondly, studies.

There was a short moment while nearing the end of the training, i sat by myself while taking a rest and thinking to myself, and also trying to clear my mind. Just then, KL came to me, he's always been my best buddy. I've also expected him to come over to gonna talk to me about it cos he's been trying to console me at times online in MSN. Talking halfway through about some minor stuffs, she came infront of us and started to talk to us. To my surprise, i was wondering why the sudden approach? Then i just replied normally and talked to her. But it all turns out to be nothing but a foolproof plan to distract and trick KL to mess up in a bunch of seaweeds. *heart drops to rock-bottom*

While going back to harbourfront station, while i lead the "newbies" once again to go back to station to return home sweet home, and while she accompanies her boyfriend out to continue touring around or dating, so we bade goodbye. She once again gave the sweet smile like she gave in the morning, that was unforgettable like what i've remembered before that came with the set of beautiful eyes when i first met her and talk to her while looking into her eyes for the first time, being able to look into someone's eyes while talking for quite a period of time. Even while going back home, i tried distacting myself and forgetting the thought of her by talking lots to my juniors. Sorry to them all for hearing so many craps that i've said and causing to ache so much in tummy while laughing.

But it still seems that she couldn't really accept me still and yet, as she's not gonna add me back on MSN and on facebook. She too didn't reply me on sms or answer my phone in rare occasions whenever i call her. Too bad she's not using friendster anymore.

I just hope that my mind will enlighten someday to the world out there, and also being able to have a miracle-gifted time for me to talk to her, without any displeasure for me to experience while trying to talk to her and make up everything for what i've did.

And it is true that no one really cares to console me or being by my side whenever i need someone most like situation like this. Especially those who knew my situation with her but not showing concern except KL and Isaac.

Great to have them both always.

Week...-.-

2008-10-19T00:32:00.003+08:00

Monday till Friday wasn't a whole pleasant weekday at all... I had UTs again, worst of all, the intensive study I had done during the whole week

Wasn't enough sleep but forcing my way through the whole week to perform in a tip-top condition. At the end, down with flu on Friday..-.-

On Thurs after school, went to watch House bunny with W35K. Nothing much though, just some funny scenes.. I wanted to watch Max Payne with some of them. But we just listened and accompanied those who wanted to watch House bunny though..-.-

Friday wasn't pleasant day at all.

Serious case of Runny nose, sniffing myself all the way as though i'm sniffing instant glue.

Some unhappy and complicated events went on.

Seriously miserable and i hope not to talked about it.

Makes life difficult and I hope that I can forget it all and wash my hands off.

~.::TODAY::.~

Today was a big day, Saturday, which I attended a wedding dinner of my paternal relative's.

The place where i attended the wedding was held at a newly developed hotel in Tanglin, near Orchard, called St.Regis.

Soooooooooo Damn high class. 6-stars yer know?!

Service was so damn good. They opened the entrance door for you, people working in there are greeting you whenever they sees you, serving, guiding and attending to you for any kind of help you might have. Even if you are going to the restroom, someone will be postitioned there, asking you whether are you attending the restroom, guide you to the restroom and opening the main door for you to enter the restroom.

When I first went upstairs, outside the ballroom, during the cocktail session where the serve little appetizers and drinks, I'm like OMG!!!

Everyone's in the best suit and coat, ladies in their ballroom dresses, scarves and jewelleries on them. Everyone's so formal!

Greeted some relatives, slack around till 12.50pm then entered the ballroom.

It was the most fascinating part of the day. Whole place was tall, big, grand, elegant, luxurious and whatever you can think of for a 6-star high class place like this. =)

The food's nice, everyone's friendly.

Talked to an australian couple who just migrated to Singapore for years, the guy was a stockbroker, profession of doing banking and finance, once working with the bridegroom of the day before.

Great time talking to him =)

~.::Main issue::.~

While i was looking arounnd fascinated by the environment i was in after settling down around the table, turned around and at the instant, first time saw an Perfect-angel among the crowd...

She was so beautiful!!! >.<

When i saw her, my heart's like going 500bpm, my mind's shrieking,"SSSSSTRIIIIIKE!!!"

She had long black hair, fair complexion, her dedicated looks and elegant appearance.. AHH~

Indeed an angel.

She seems younger than me, maybe younger by somewhat.., 2 or 3 years old?

Shorter than me, my seriously i swear upon my name, i daresay she's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. =X

(maybe one of the few.. hehe)

Didn't get the chance to interact though... around with her parents and grandma.

At first she was sitting around a table nearby, which i can get to see her clearly and upclose.

Too bad, she moved away, instructed by her parents and went to another table.. (saddened)

But i still get to see her.. hehe

Wanted to talk to her but no chance at all.. But i think we managed to get eye contact ? hehe?

(ahh.. her bright and beautiful eyes)

YAY

I think i smiled abit. Did i? Did i not? BAH forgotten.. T.T so mesmerized.. ah~

Dunno what's her name and i've never talked.. except eye contacts..

What confuses me is that, is she a VERY DISTANT RELATIVE (unlikely but possible but bad), or is she a RELATIVE (very bad), or daughter of a particular family which her parents are the friend of the wedded couple(good and hope so)?

I solemnly swear and hope that i can see her again, either on the streets or another big event like wedding dinner or whatsoever though... T.T

(if only she was alone during a particular time and i can talk to her)

((but how to approach her at the start!!! *panics*))

After the meal, while setting off for home (still mesmerized and missing her),

when i was exiting the ballroom, she was around too, we exchanged eye contact again and too bad, we are both quiet and was pushed on by the crowd and she was guided away by her grandmother i guess..

Went home by train then by dad's car.. Home sweet home.

Her looks, especially the face shall never disappear from my mind. If only i have a memory recorder, to record and project out the visual image ^^ awww... haiz.. T.T misses her greatly..

Moi Week

2008-10-13T00:09:00.002+08:00

For the whole week, hasn't been quite pleasant though..-.-

UT season's up again, forced me to be stuck in school and facing my lappy studying 6Ps and Quizzes.

Nothing much special, except that my Tuesdays and Thursday are abnormally free (no polo).

Basically, no pleasannt but smooth though.

I got 4 As and 1 B for D.G.!

WOOT

The tide's coming back.. XD

Saturday and Sunday, had IVP championships in Toa Payoh (woots TPY v^^v)

Finally met the other swimmers of my school, and it turns out that i know them!

Wanted to wake up at 5.30 and reach the pool by 7.30am. In the end, it turns out to be, i woke up at 7.30..-.-

Benjamin Kheng, Swimfast swimmer

Julien, ACE swimmer.

They are just pros. LOL

Saturday's event wasn't pleasing, my 100m free missed by 1 sec from best time.. 1.04mins. -.-

(not a long dist. swimmer though..-.-)

Sunday, was the best day.

(i still woke up late...-.- 7am...-.-)

After doing warm-up lap swims, went to the RP area to rest.

Slept there for half an hour while the technical problems goes on.

In the end, the touch-board's not gonna work...

DAMN

After moments of deperate waitings, 50m breast event finally arrived.

Achieved P.B. once again. 35sec. Woots.

Gonna improve on and on.. like.. 34..33..32..31..30..29... blah blah blah..

Then minutes later once again, 50m free arrived too! Bwahahaha

(supposedly Li Ning's event.. LOL)

UNFORTUNATELY..I swam 27.30sec.. Position 8th in the event. 1st guy was 24sec. 2nd guy was supposedly another 24sec. But he got DQed..-.-so everything moved up. Then i became 7th.

Luckily, i was given the chance ot swim the 4 x 50m free relay, and i'm going the 1st leg.

Made used of the 50m and swam and almost reached P.B., 26.86sec.. P.B. was 26.15 back then (almost 25sec..><).

What's worst is that when i used this timing of 26.15 to sub into the individual 50m event, i could actually achieve a 5th position!

What's worst, the new second place swimmer in the individual 50m free, is a 26sec swimmer too! dammit. Just that stupid touch, i can actually achieve a 2nd place. -.-

Anyways, i've sort of stabilised my timing as i swam 26 once again. But i can't confirm that as i'm always unlucky of not having my timing taken on touch-board for 50 free...-.-

Next year, there's gonna be a greater threat. If, two of my other friends make it to poly, I'll have a hard time making it to 2nd place though..-.-

NO WORRIES! They improve, i'll improve too!

*ROAR*

End of the day, bathed then set off for Lunch at subway.

Subway-Meltz is just the best.. ^^

After lunch, Jerome and Dharsy forced me, making me no other alternative to take, had to go for polo training after hours from lunch

Went to Jerome's house's neighbourhood, downstairs, slept on the benches to kill time.

Then went back to TPY complex again for training till 9pm

F***ING tired.

Saw Johnny-da-"almighty and power-rights-thirsty"

Spoils my day just by looking at him, having him around..

Then, had some meaningless match as revision for the tactics..

~.::Home Sweet Home::.~

Reached home, unpacked my bag, slumped into the sofa and rested

Minutes later, played the piano.. Feeling kinda bored. Trying to learn a new song.. Sick of playing the same old songs over and over again..

Then, shut the piano and had a drink of Orange Juice.

Curse F*** dammit. ?`-=[]\l;',./">~!@#$%^&*()_+{}:"<>?`-=[]\l;',./

Accidentally broke my favourite mug after drinking it.

Freaking another issue to spoil my day. idiotic.

Now typing this blog..

Sunday my-"Times"

2008-10-06T00:03:00.007+08:00

Slept like a pig but dragged myself up after the night's darkness.

The night's chat still flash in my mind. Not haunting but flashing every now and then.

"It'll be over soon. I'm fine. This is my life and I controls it. Though i can't control fate, but every path of Life and Fate are created after every new decisions made at the end of every previous paths (situations) that I journeyed before. When it's fated to be with, bond it with. But if it's not, forget it. Carry on walking and wait at the same time. Stop waiting when the story's over"

I told that to myself.

Settled my breakfast and for hours later, set off from home to Asri's house for his Hari Raya celebration, which he invited me to attend. This year's much quieter than last year. 2 or 3 of our best friends aren't around unlike last year, which they atended, Nick, Ozy and Art.

This year, only KL, Vinny and I attended.

As super nice as usual, Asri's house. Really liked the design.

This time's visit, it's super lot of people. All cramped in there and loads of people whom i do not know. Felt so strange and somehow odd.. Because it's not just my nature, not greeeting anyone I see, especially to those who are closely related to the ones I know.

Had my lunch, sat on a sofa and continued snacking as per usual.. XD

(Standard Operation Procedure.. S.O.P.)

Not much interesting at all, stayed in Asri's "Room of Entertainment" the whole day.

Played comp, chatted, asked about each other..

Asri that funny "joker" who can't remember his NSP (Network Security Password), therefore i'm unable to use my lappy to access internet.

I just slacked, eat and watch TV. Nothing else. Borrowed his Desktop to online for awhile.

Halfway through, felt pointless going online as no one will talk to me these days.

No initia-tion by the others these days (except last night)

Hours later, Watched "The Island". Nice show

Some great actions and nice scenes of high techies. =) (*Awed*)

Some saddening and lovable scenes.. haha.. Nothing much though.. All i know is a lot of running done since the Climax.. Overall, 3.5 out of 5. =)

About to go off at the end of the show, Asri's mum urge us to eat again (i've ate countless rounds alr! ><)

After that, how sweet of Asri's mum to give as "Ang-Pow" because of their Hari Raya.. I just accept it in terms of appreciation and Asri's parents are really glad that we attended and came for visit, keeping close in touch.

At the end, good-o'bro Asri walked us to Admiralty station from his house. Not tiring but rather relax.

Continued chatting with them, from the regular casual to the rather in-depth ones..

Upon reaching the station,

Vinny, KL and I bade Asri goodbye and entered the station for the train

I alighted at Yishun and headed for the interchange for another bus ride.

Reached the estate then went to 7-11 to buy another loaf of bread for tomorrow morning. Dammit. All sold out. Even the grocery.
Curses

In the end spent 2bucks for a loaf of bread that is lesser and more expensive than the usual one i bought in 7-11.

Basket.

Home Sweet Home

Came online and started typing at 12.03am (late by few minutes and i reached the next day..-.-)

Earlier ytd and earlier today...

2008-10-05T12:22:00.005+08:00

Yesterday

Went to Siti house for the Hari Raya celebration which she invited W15J. Hot and sunny trip to her house which is also in Yishun (convenient).

Her house is damn nice.

The moment we enter the house, Kubbon attacked the grapes at the instant and

said,"eh this one got seed or not?!"

Sat down somewhere snacking and watched "Shutter".

Somewhat funny but having the tiniest bit of feeling scary

(never watched it before but somehow can predict what'll happen next)

Some of them got shocked while watcing certain horror scenes.. Jazlyn almost choked while eating at the same time as watching..-.-

Soon, we had laksa for lunch! woo hoo!

The bean sprouts, cockles, Tao Pok, Fish cake and sprig onions (is that called this way?) are being stored into various containers on a assorted tray.

With the curry in the middle ^^

It tasted so good and it wasn't too spicy at all.. Kubbon and I had bowls of it. Good job to Siti and her mum. ^^

Next, we had dessert. Ice cream in glass with kit-kat as topping. Woot. Tasted so good and the appropriate dessert to accompany with the weather. Surprisingly, we get to eat that twice.

Shaik and Jerome reached her house 1 or 2 hours after we've reached. But waited for so damn long for Benji-mon. He arrived 5 mins before me departure from Siti house for another friend's house for his birthday party.

Departed from Siti house, set off for Kang Lun's house at Bendemeer. Took 857 and that bumpy long ride really made me to doze off. When i've reached Bendemeer, went to the block and took the lift up. Upon reaching, so damn many people are at the corridor. Surprisingly all the neighbours around are not bothered by it. I step out of the lift, everyone turned and look at me.

Stunned down there, thinking what happened. Stood rooted there, waved and said,"err..Hi?"

Rather bored. i went there, Isaac and the others haven't arrived. Loads of people i didn't know..

I just took some food, ate and sat down in the living room, watching TV.

Soon, the others arrived.

Christel and her BF, Bryan, followed by Felicia, Irving and Isaac. We sat down around a table and talked

As per usual, nothing much for me to talk about so rather boring..

To sum it up for the Birthday party, i wasn't having great time but bored there.

In the end, set off for home sweet home.

Step into my house, so damn freaking tired for the whole day's schedule. Bathed then went online on msn.

Was about to play my online game when the overnight-chat started, initiated by Raynor

I was rather surprised that he look up for me to help which i thought everything's smooth and the best for him. Had some "Man-to-Man" talk.

He was troubled over an issue (mainly about communication problems)

which somehow and somewhat i was pulled into

(I intend to keep it CONFIDENTIAL for the Welfare of those who are involved)

We chatted and I "listened" to what he have to say. Then try to aid him in certain areas.

Many things have already impacted me and was soon to be over but somehow i was being pulled into this matter.

It's like as though i'm walking along a concrete path, halfway through, my leg's stucked in a newly formed of concrete slab which it haven't been hardened.

I'm really lost and do not know exactly what happened. Therefore i'm not much of a help for him.

Certain issues I've already guessed all out and it happened to have 95% match to what i've guessed and expected.

Certain parts are surprising and disappointing

To be honest, I trusted him. But, i've yet to know a lot more. Therefore there are parts which i didn't quite believe it but i just gotta take it as a fact for the moment.

There are also parts which are heart-breaking. In terms of personal issues and friendship issues.

BUT I'M FINE STILL.

We chatted all the way till 3.10am. He have work the next day which is today, Sunday, therefore he had to sign off.

I told him the last few sentence and i hope he remembers (modified),

"Take a step whch you are approved and acknowledged for. If you stay in the same level as the other person, confusion may arouse due to different perspective and expectations, which may hurt someone on the way. Regardless between the 2 or the ones around them. Take the step and keep moving so that the other one can carry on walking in his pace, with his life. If you ever falls back, just get up again nd carry on moving ahead of the person who is still walking at the back. If you can't do it, have the other person to help you up or in the most intense circumstances, pass the baton or walk together down and not stop."

... ... turns out ... ...

2008-10-04T10:05:00.012+08:00

All the ones that used to be my close buddies/friends,
Are drifting apart

All the ones that used to be my classmates,
We're having difficulty meeting up once again
*
The ones that use to SMS text me, MSN me and Talk to me AUTOMATICALLY,
they are not doing so anymore

The ones that looks for me for a listening ear,
Now left me at one corner to stone, nothing left to do

The ones that I like/loved (regardless items or people),
Fate is not getting us together, instead, pulling us apart.
And even further

What is not fated to be mine,
We just had to be cruelly forced to accept that it will never be mine somehow..
*
Those whom I trusted,
Seems to get less trustworthy as time passes by

Those who took my nature for granted,
Started to betray and hurt me once and again and over again

Those whom I cared for,
Are not noticing it

Those who told me about themselves,
It seems turns out to be the opposite

Whatever questions you asked and the answer you received from others,

Sometimes they are doing the opposites of their answers

Not just answers, but answers that affects a scale

At times when you need someone badly,

no one's around.

But when you are fine,

They are around.

Somehow at the wrong time

~.::The End::.~

Darn....

2008-10-03T22:22:00.003+08:00

Once again.. I've been busy and unable to update..since it's saturday now, 12+ am, so for now, i'm gonna pour some out about the past few days

* *

Sunday

Not quite a smooth day though.. but it's the best in terms of the overall weather of the day. Still recovering from my sickness back then. Dad bought some new watches.. One of them, being Mont Blanc. It's sooooooooo damn nice. Too bad my wrist's skinny. Can't really fit me well.

Rather boring and nothing much interesting except for losing my green bottle somewhere in Singapore (not knowing where i left it in which place). All i know is that, I've to dig out money once again to get a new bottle for replacement.. *haiz*

Monday

Just a day before our 2 days holiday of the week.. We had communication module and it's rather fun though. We had a debate going on, suggested by some relieve faci for Sharon. Dunno why, but it's a smooth day. Quite smooth till after school. Once again, i'm left out. Stoned all day long.. Can't exactly remember what i did after school. Or did i join any friends for anything? bah can't really remember. I think i stayed back with Nan shun. Or didn't I?

All i know my mood was rather down since the start of the week. After losing my bottle and followed on by various reasons.

Tuesday

Purely Weather-bonded day. It's raining and finally cooling. But somehow at the wrong time..-.-

Had a class outing with W35K, but only a handful of them. If i'm not wrong, there's only 8 people who managed to turned up. Poor Carmen had some family issues, therefore she's unable to join us.

Early in the morning, I met up with Raynor, Erin, Raynz and Kerry. I was rather late, settling some households before meeting them up. We train-ed to Harbourfront and waited there for the rest such as the Couple, Jackson and Yan Nee, and finally, Sir Drexler Ong..

LOL

First time met Yan Nee's Boyfriend, Jackson. Nice and friendly guy to get along well with. Looks sporty but unfortunately he didn't really join sports in school..

Then we went to ViVo's foodcourt, I accompanied them as they wanted to have breakfast. Halfway through, shopped for some big bottles of mineral water (so damn cheap!). Then, off we go to Sentosa!

We were looking forward to Sun-tanning on that day, but unfortunately, the weather was suiting me at the wrong time..

But we manage to play a few good rounds of Beach Volleyball just before the rain arrived.

After waiting for some time for the rain to subside, we went back to the beach and carry on playing Volleyball. Nothing much but just the fun.

Skies cleared, Mr Helio's up (the Sun).. We went to tanned up a bit. I didn't quite bother to apply the lotion and just "grilled" myself up under the Sun. Time passed by, i fell asleep without noticing until Raynz woke me up with a weird nickname.

We went to Vivo after the wash up. Parted ways with Drexler and Erin, while the rest of us carried on journeyed through the mall till we reach Carl's Jr for a meal.

I didn't think too much and assumed that this particular meal was lunch (we didn't eat lunch and i was damn hungry).

After eating my set of meal, i carried on finishing the Spicy beef fries (damn. that's spicy. THe back of my head heated up..-.-)

Carried on by another burger from Kerry's meal as she couldn't finish..

I'm all filled up. (i still gotta go home for dinner, which was 3-4hrs after the meal at Carl's Jr)

Lucky i'm around or else their money would be wasted for nothing but donation for Carl's Jr.

After Meal, Raynor and I, tagged along the girls who went to shop around.. Jeez! Kerry is one scary shopper.. Lol haha.. Raynz went to buy some clothes too.

End of day: Go home of course. As per normal, train-ed then bus-ed.

Noticed: Kerry's mood swinged from the solemn mode in the day to the hype mode during shopping, then back to solemn-but-better while going back home.

Wednesday

Nothing interesting and it is a surprisingly boring day. Everything's so as per normal, except that i went for the earlier training session and I had dinner out with my Parents. Shopped around Toa Payoh Central then went home.

Thursday

Went to school rather early as i somehow manage to wake up early from my bed. Very sickening day as i had Cognitive module. All about Paradoxes. Almost needed assistance from Panadols and needed Drips at SGH.

Just because of the few minutes late submission of presentation materials, my team had to do extra RJ, in order to have at least a slight bit of chance to get an A. (sickening. felt like condemning and damning everyone)

Had Polo meeting during breakout 2 with Great-o'Johnny da Capt'n. Sick and tired of him and yet, still gotta attend his displinary meeting.. Deepens my mood. Sickening.

After school had polo training. Damn disappointing. Training hasn't been constant, why don't they cancel it? so that i can attend my swimming training. At the same time, I can accompany with Raynz to Toa Payoh, as she visits her grandma. Then maybe after my training, I'm able to accompany Raynz home.

Water polo wasn't a smooth one too, as i'm damn freaking tired of playing it, as in physically and literally, don't feel like playing, due to mood. (i even got poked in the eye during a mini-match. "~!@#$%^&*()_+{}:"<>?`-=[]\;',./")

Feel like quitting polo RIGHT NOW AND NOT JOIN THE POL-LITE WATER POLO MATCH

Friday

Science module, supposedly expected to be a better day. Went to class early once again.

For the whole day, i supposedly able to get the logic and the explanation behind the problem statement. Somehow during meeting 3, there was a bit of confusion and i'm lost for words to present my part in the slides. Totally helpless. Asked "MY" and she said she dunno how help explain. Then i used whatever i know just to help present it.

Totally sickening.

My favourite and my forte, yet i'm not doing it well. I'm so goner. After school, i totally have no mood to talk at all.

Went to meet up with Serena to pass her her tapes which i received from her friends. So happy to see Kubbon, Meishan, Sharon and Serena. It's been a long time and i miss W15J badly. Miss those times we were working together, helping superbly closely together to help each other to get an A (not like now in W35K, all in a killing spree, almost to prevent each ther from scoring A)

Followed on, went for some fun, playing badminton with Drexler, Raynor, Wei Liang, Raynz and finally Erin (never play at all due to footwear).

Just before leaving RP, went to bathe then back to meet up with them to set off for Causeway point.

Accompanied them while they are having dinner at Mos Burger and chatted..

In the end.. same answer.. HOME SWEET HOME. All just parted ways and went home..

And so, i've landed at home, now typing this blog.

Why life's liddat?

2008-09-27T01:08:00.004+08:00

Woosha~

Updates~ o.o

Tuesday this week, down with cough, accompanied by the usual-everyday-runny nose.

It just happended to me when i woke up from my beauty sleep.. Throat was like freaking dry, parched, whatever you may think of. Just.. Uncomfortable..

Tuesday, being Cognitive Module for the day. Cognitive is a terrible module to go study. Anyone who likes to think a lot and indepth or those who loved literature history, i'd "worship" you for being such a pro (you've the potential to score damn well for it). After school, after making a hard decision just because of my throat problem, decided to went for training, not knowing the "dangers" up ahead in my life..

Indeed! After training on tuesday, i'm worn out. Upside down, inside out, topsy-turvy..blah blah..

I sank into my bed as soon as i made contact with it..

*At night*

about 2-4pm, somewhere around that time, coldness creeped up on me. Struggled in bed for warmth. But my laziness and tiredness prevented me from getting out of the bed to off the fan

(lol pig.. =X)

In the end, still rolled off

Knowing the signs of falling sick already, i wore 1 or 2 pyjamas or shirt, off the fan, blanket up and went to sleep.

Next morning,

feeling very heavy-headed on a Wednesday morning. Raining on the first day of my sickness.. SO freaking cold, i wore 1 long-sleeved with one jacket to school. Jeez.. that day was terrible. What i've went through, it is always all so blur and not clear and not so conscious at all..

I felt so cold even the jacket's of little help.. Throughout the whole the day, i still strained myself, racking my brain and trying my best to work through for the whole day.

Totally worn out.. After school, went to causeway, with Erin, Sandra and Nanshun.. Rather fun.. At the end, dragged myself to home..

Thursday

woke up heavy-headed once again.. But feeling betwe this time.. But my legs seems to be tired due to my sickness. After eating breakfast, 20 minutes before departure for school, played piano awhile.. (somehow the thought of music being myy medicine. So i'd try it out).

Surprisingly, the later part of the day, i felt much better.. (i had lessons in the library ^^)

I felt so elated such that i can contribute to my very best once again in school. Unfortunately, i'm not in condition to attend training. But after school, I had great time with Kerry, Raynor, Erin, Drexler, Wei Liang in the library playing piano and sharing ideas and blah blah blah..

I was suprised by the response i've received about the song i played, The musician.. Haha.. Erin fell in love with the song.. when i started playing, those who are listening to it and relaxing, they are so into the mood and feel. They didn't even quite noticed that at times, i paused because of some unfamiliar parts of the song. The ascending part.. T.T.. *Still polishing up my skills*

I JUST LOVE THE LIBRARY

(Raynz was around there but with her little friends.. =X)

Friday... I feel normal. NORMAL!!! no more sick symptoms!!! *cough cough*

OK maybe not.. Still having Phlegm here and there.. sickening..-.-

Overall, the day was quite boring.. No one stayed back.. Raynor went to work.. One by one went home, I'm not in the condition to train.. Later on, went to meet up with Kubbon(kelvin) and his Dear, Mushroom (meishan a.k.a. Anyhow Queen), Jazlyn and YongTai. Supposedly waiting for Ben/jimon, who promised to met us at 6pm. Darn him. Didn't even went to check his phone during Wushu. We made multiple calls and smses and there's no replies at all. The couple went off first then leaving me yong tai and jazlyn at the back, walking up towards the station and went home.. (on the way, there are fabulous sight-seeing of clouds.. ^^(too bad i don't have DSLR..T.T)

Back, Back already

2008-09-22T00:19:00.006+08:00

The past few days, the usual life isn't as smooth as it is and there's been loads of ups and downs..
*

I've been in a new class of W35K, life was hectic once again, but with no grudges.. (as i'm rather happy to be back in RP studying).
*
Met some new friends, apparently, knowing the whole class THOROUGHLY on the 3rd or 4th day sch-reopen.

Trying to get W15J back together again, but somehow it is less efficient than the last semester.. T.T
*
No matter what, i still get to know some nice people in the new class such as
Nan Shun,
Raynor,
Raynz (Kaih Shen),
Kerry,
Carmen,
Amanda,
Erin
&
Farhan a.k.a. Joker =)
*
The new facilitators' are rather alright but my 1st two weeks encounter with them, wasn't too good. I got my 2 Cs earlier than expected.. T.T.. I only got my first C during the 2nd term of last semester.. T.T.. (Comm and Cognitive)
(the comm facilitator doesn't give chance at all.. i guess i'm going to have a hard time scoring an A)
*
Water Polo:
Wasn't going too well.. Bah.. I don't really care about it anyways.. Hope that i'll just move along and attend the usual Tues (not stable) and Thurs trainings.. Fun though.. But, the interest towards it is declining in me.
POL-ite's POLO meet's coming round the corner but later than IVP swimming meet. Can't even bear to think about it.. Or should say in the other way round? (don't even bother to think about it.. ROFLOLMAOMG)
*
Swimming:
Since the Olympics Season, it had strongly motivated me, as though reviving the dead spirit once again, i'm back into intensive training period again.
Moving towards my Peak =).
I've been going down for training at least 5 times a Week, (due to club's Monday permanent off, and at times tuesday's polo is called off).
Very grateful to my coach, ever since he's back from China. Finally, i'm training under his training program. Besides, he's been teaching me, trying to improve me.
Rather strict and focus on me during trainings. But, i don't mind. Because i felt that, i'm getting better, getting a hang of the training now.
Boosted my confidence, endurance, stamina, speed, power and blah blah...
GREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAATLY!
q=D
IVP's swimming meet is coming round the corner, rather, somewhat nervous about it. There are loads of Pro swimmers such as Danny, Khalis, Benjamin, a guy from my swim team (still dunno his name) & the boyfriend of Carmen (ps, i forgotten the name). Also, the swimmers from Universities (stressed up!).
I'm rather disappointed.. Because, RP isn't giving me my 50m free event..i'm trying to clock my new time of 25 or 26 sec.. T.T nvm.. they gave it to some other 2 guys.. But just in case if they get absent, at least i can take over (but i know the probability's low..-.-).
*
Friday, 19th sept, a teribbly lazy and boring day for me.. On the particular day, it felt as though everyone's leaving me..
After school, i gotta wait for one hour before i set off for swimming at toa payoh straight for school. During the one hour, one by one of my classmates left the class. Either the left for work, meeting their friends OR to go home..
I was like.. no words to describe that particular moment. I was bored, feeling like a useless crap, doing my evaluation and quiz (I can't think of what to write for my RJ whenever i'm in school). I stared into space.. Stoning and freezing,

surfing the net aimlessly, stoning in MSN main page, looking at the pathetic amount of people who are online.
Those who usually text, calls, stays back or searching for me, are not doing so.. Wonder where they went. Except for Benji, fighting his way through the Wushu IG..
Then finally, i fell asleep in my chair till the time when the security guard does his usual routine around the classrooms.. Then i set off late by 20 mins for my training.
JUST SOMEHOW FEELING DEPRESSED AND DOWN...
SOMEHOW
*
Saturday, i woke up late...-.-
lazy day for me.. weather's so freaking hot and "amphibians" (always like to be in water) like me, gonna dry and dehydrate sooner or later..Even till now! I went for training soon after a few hours of waking up. Training was tough and i'm having bad HAIR day.. My hair was super hard to manage somehow.. on the day...
Then went for my visit at grandma house right away from TPY to Kallang Bahru.. Had dinner then went into "war" with my cousins, battling terrorists or counter-terrorists..
*
Sunday, 1 hours earlier ago before i trying to post up my blog now, was another somewhat nice and weird day.. I almost manage to wake up at a earlier time, but somehow i fell asleep and woke up again at 12.30pm. Darn. Then had my late breakfast, surfed the net aimlessly once again and finally, lunch. (looking for some online game to play, but can't find an interesting one.. though.. trying to get a maple private server.. but even after i downloaded it, the programs are all the same. F***ed up)
Hours later, TRAINING TIME!
I set off walking at moderately top speed (habit already). Then...
Bus Stop>>>Bus>>>Bus Stop>>>Northpoint Shopping Mall>>>Took a can of free coffee drink>>>kept it and walk through the crowds as there's a program event going on,
(feel like shouting,"those who are thinking of going somewhere but busybodied around here, please move off to one side!" but of course i won't do that in a crowd in the public.. because there's someone infront of me walking, cleared a path for me to walk.LOL).
Then..
walked to the escalator>>>underground passage>>>escalator>>>MRT station>>>Train>>>Toa Payoh>>>MRT station>>>TPY Central>>>HDB Hub>>>Central>>>Overhead bridge...
Then finally, destination finale!
(since i reached toa payoh, spammed up that canned coffee..LOL)
*
Changed up, refilled my bottle, then jumped into the pool as usuall procedure.. transparent gogs on, black cap and AWAY~
Somehow, i felt powerful.. Tiredless, strengthful, able to feel the water and the training was easily manageable somehow today.. LOL.. dunno why.. but it feel great today.. dunno it's because of miracle or because of that.... COFFEE! (coffee suppose to put me to sleep..(somehow makes me sleep usually..instead of awakening))
*
Later on, went to bathe then came out of bathing room with extra precaution. Seeking around for any signs of my polo mates. Because they wanted me to go for the 6.30 to 8-9plus training, which i don't usually attend due to various reasons. So gotta avoid before i get pulled there, resulting 4 to 5 hours training in water in TPY regardless polo or swimming..
*
Reverse routine back to yishun but this time, stucked at the 2nd bus stop of yishun, at the interchange, waiting for my dad and mum.. had dinner with them and i ate quite alot though.. then shop around for a moment or so, then packed some dinner for my sis then went home.
*
So now i'm typing in now, brief summary of what i can remember clearly of these few days.. Then wondering what would be like tomorrow.. At the same time nervous of what would happen tomorrow because of the horoscope then i've checked in friendster (rather accurate and reliable though)..
*
hope tomorrow's a better day..

=)

Boring...

2008-08-26T00:28:00.004+08:00

Haiz.. Why must all this holiday be so boring? I just can't stand it though. I'm currently having my FINAL week of my 3 week holiday.. so dam boring!! >.< ._." Life as a RP student enjoys school than anything else. Tht's how i feel. This long stretch of holidays there's isn't anything else for me to get occupied at all! Gaming? nah no thnks.. somehow all the games kinda boring though... nth more interesting than schooling and having fun with my buddies and frens..

All i could do is..:

Wake

Eat

Surf web

MSN-ing

Play Piano

Eat

Swim

Eat

Sleep

RP water polo's getting worse. Management of training schedules and understanding of their own polo mates are not there.. Nvm.. To hell with Polo. I'll jus head towards my ultimate goal which is set since a kid. Swim towards the ultimate Olympic Dream.. Champion~ Like Phelps.. LOL. He's darn cool. Saw his diet, (i can finish it w/o doubt). LOL. For real. Really. Swear. I hope to achieve my peak again. Then from then on, i can really boosts all the way. I really need my peak as a source of motivation.. Haiz..

These days, not quite in terms with my mum.. She's a bit naggy once again and she's always there to raise unnecessary issues up all time. Short-tempered me, really really stir up loads of quarrels for the sake of rights, justice and logic................................................To hell with tht.

All these days, boring holidays. Holidays are always on the constant to drift me away from the reality to the World of Dreamland and Thoughts. But most of the time, it jus drift all the way and makes me think back about the one that I loved (though it had nvr progressed and being expressed at all). When i start thinking of her, flashbacks about the pasts occurs and somehow i would start to feel the tinge of sadness, regrets, loneliness, emotionless but somehow abit of frustration, anger and hatred somehow.. due to various sort of reasons and unknowns.................................. What's is it really like being in love? What's it like being loved? How is it like being in a relationship? What exactly happens when engaged in a relationship?

I'm not dying to get engaged in a relationship. But it's just the curiosity and the feelings that i experience when i start thinking of her. I'm seriously lost. sometimes i think back. Is this world REAL? I'm always trying to contact her, trying to make the move although it's hard. But she's always "not allowing" it to happen though. Well since it's that way, i can't really help it though. I guess i jus have to slowly loosen my fingers of her hands and bid her goodbye. Hope we'll meet or get together some day, some other time.. I just find it rather hard to accept that whether she did wear the necklace i gave her. I really spent alot time preparing it and really really wanna treasure the relationship between us. Even if it's just friends, hope it will be something to remind each other about it. But it all seems ironic that she did accept it willingly and wear it.. I dunno. My mind's currently in a whirl now, thinking back and typing it all out.. I just really really like her. But i dunno how to express it. i'm really tactless.. i seriously dunno wad to do. But i'm thinking back. Must i really need to have a relationship now? I'm really lost like as though stuck in the middle of two dimensions. If she's attach, i'd give her my blessing. I'd be happy for her. Just let it go and it'll be all over between us. No matter what, i just wish to get the misunderstandings and make things clear about what is happening between us.

Still, all the best for her Os.

yOwZaT

2008-08-20T00:56:00.003+08:00

~yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

Saturday-Sunday's BBQ with W15J is the best~ Thank you guys for giving me a wonderful memorable moment and the best BBQ eva. hees =) Especially to I.C.T.s, Jazlyn, Yong Tai, Peixuan, See Mun, Chong Han and Gerald... Sorry for the failure in the secret mission. Don't worry too much la. ah?

When i first reach East Coast, first thing i did there, is to walk from D section to B section of BBQ pits with Yong Tai... walao.. all thanks to kubbon. Yong tai asked him about which BBQ pit Reg Number, KuKuBBon told him the reg. no. of the Carpark. We walked till B section, not even passing by "C1"BBQ PIT (meaning not existing) (our pit's C16)..

I.C.T.s and Yong Tai together, did the Manly-Job, such that we carried stuffs up and down, and went through "all the hardships" setting up the...................... BBQ stove with charcoals and fire. Just then...one by one classmates/friends came.. I was starved till i almost got gastric for the first time. I made the first move (hehehe...i ate alot at one shot)..

So many chats here and there... Photo Shot, eating, cycling (we rented bikes)..etc.. Everyone watched Kubbon and Meishan "in awe" as they rode the doubleseated or the single seated bike together around the park. So lovely...LOL...

dUMBY bon... Nice try but no good la... the roasted marshmallow that he was attempting, he roasted it and pulled off the outer layer... in the end, leaving one small white gooey lump on the stick... what's there to eat and taste? haiz... nvm.. but good idea for making such marshmallow..

Night falls, the full moon up in the empty navy blue sky. the moonlight was so strong such that it casted it's blurry reflection on the sea. Ah...imagine that... Soon, we are preparing the "main course" of the BBQ. But i'm busy do my way for the marshmallow...

Cycling round...Up and down the park, going in pairs or more, ah... the feeling is very nice ya noe? it's like.. at night, in the peaceful coastal park, windy, cycling with ur frens... watching the distant lights of the boats and ships which are out in the sea from far... Then at times, returning back to the BBQ PIT and carrying on doin my cooking... COoking's jus so fun.. HAHA.. It's just so fun to cook... heee... Then later on... rather late at night... everyone's still quite fresh and awake. i carried on Roasting marshmallow for everyone. I manage to find a method, such that one normal plain white marshmallow could be roasted till it expand in size, golden brown in certain parts, soft, melted and sweet within... Had a whole lot fun roasting them with Jazlyn.. Haha... Just then, she too helped out roasting them too and eating it. Roasting it for each other and for the others..haha.. so many things to do...

All these things turned out alot better than what i've expected to be so boring in the late at night..

As we proceed on till 4-5am, al of us started packing up and washing up.. Just a brief one.. just wash abit here and there in a public toilet somewhere and that's it..

Soon, daybreak. We cycled to the Macdonalds and had breakfast there.. I'm freaking starving again.. LOL.. Spent all my notes and a few coins for my breakfast... Returned the bikes to the shop and time for HOME SWEET HOME!!!

On the way home, that is when i start to feel tired. LOL.. when i reached home, i bathe then slept at 11am till 3pm, woke up for lunch.. Then went home again, sleep, till the next morning (forgot that i missed dinner(no one told me abt it. so i didnt bother)).

Total Sleep hours: 16. LOL.

Past-Present-Future

2008-08-06T00:29:00.003+08:00

Ah. Yoz. Updates of the late and the latest. LOL
*
Ah receiving some nice medals these few months. Gold for 50m back and silver for 50m breaststroke in the Intra-constituency meet. And recently, inter-constituency, Bronze for 50m backstroke, silver for Free relay (could've been gold (1st leg of free)) and lastly, gold for I.M. relay (i'm in the 1st leg of backstroke). The free relay was damn fun. I paced with some COE guy ( i won him abit but in the end, he won me by a touch)
*
nice match anyways. but the free relay was a total mess up for the officials. There's a DQ in the winning team and they didn't notice it. Then in the end, my team ended up 2nd for the event, losing out by a few seconds from the champ team.
*
It have been a wonderful time during the inter-constituency match. being back with my old friends and seeing the grown-up "chilli padis" of the past. ah. they have changed a lot. indeed. Surprisingly, i met someone whom i've not seen for years. I do not know when did she return to SG from CN, besides, she's living somewhere around Yishun too! but i dunno where (dun care anyways). anyway, she changed alot. doens't look like a chinese from china too.
*
I met the Croatia and the Italian Waterpolo teams. dammit. they are just like giants! Freakishly tall. got the shock, hell out of ma-life. the tallest guy can reach up to the ceiling of the corridor outside my classroom, and the tallest lady in the ladies team is taller than me by at least.. by a head and shoulder? shortest is only the same height as me.. My friends had the swimmer, Michael Phelps and the rest of the swimmers in the US team's signature. his whole yellow pool buoy is being marked by the lot of signatures. *envy*
*
Life in RP, as per usual. These days have been stressful, both mental and physically. Almost fell sick for the second time during the weekends. My birthday in the past few weeks, 26th july, have been a great day for me. For the first time hanging out and celebrating with my buddies. and i'm very glad to meet someone, a gal, new friend (for the moment or maybe friend foreva only...). haha anyways, it's been quite fun just by hanging around a particular area in the town.
*
I'm trying to get back to swimming, for frequent training and reach my peak once again. I wanted to aim for the youth olympics (as what 2 coaches of mine are hoping me to aim for it). but too bad, the 3 of us are rather W-O-L-S. the limit for YOG is 18 the max. and by the time for it, i'm alr 19.. So sad... T.T really really sad. i guess just have to aim for the actual real one.. =X. Seriously, i've thought of it before. hee hee. THink about it. if others can do it, why can't i? all of us are humans too. there's no such thing as i can't qualify for olympics as them. it's jus the matter of time. but apparently, there's no time for me to wait anymore as i'm full fledge 17 already.
*
Well well.. my dear crush. She tried calling me before. 3 missed calls made. they were made when i was sleeping with my handphone charged in the living room. i tried calling her the next day. but, she never answered. no replys from calls nor SMSes. dunno wadda hell's going on. I hope i can meet her up some day and get every thing cleared once and for all. But maybe she's busy with her O level. But i believe she have time for freedom and relax like late at nite, weekends or public holidays. but she didn't reply during the time i called back the next day after she made those missed calls (it was during the june hols). So i guess her ignorance is just too much, so i guess i have to cut down on bothering about her. I'm not going to give up on her even though it may seems tiring and trying to tempt me to let go of her. At she should clarify with me, at most, we'd just end as normal friends.
*
To let everyone know, i'm still carrying on with my life, heading forward. Swimming, Sleep, Study, Supreme results and snacking being my priorities now ^^ The Ss. without her, i may feel empty or i've lost something. but it is not going to obstruct my to achieving my current target and goals. Even though she may be important. Let's just let nature takes it's course, let the river flow and run. let the wind rush through the meadows.

Tired><

2008-07-01T23:50:00.005+08:00

Another lousy day. Hard to believe eh? My chance to coach the swimmers in Toa Payoh have been busted at the last minute by the management. What's worst, *haiz* long story..
*
Initially, i was being informed to help assist my coach in coaching the swimmers in their training. To think that tuesday is my Water Polo day, but i had to pass it due to the fact of the clash of schedules, so i plan not to enter the waters of the pools at all. Besides, to use the excess time to study for my UT. So as a result, i did not bring my trunks along but just with my usual school stuffs and a National T-Shirt. UNFORTUNATELY, the coaching session for me had been cancelled because of the management, who found a substitute for the moment to take in-charge.
*
So, since i'm unable to go for my coaching, i had no other choice but to go for polo. But i didn't have my trunks with me.. I just had to inform my Water Polo Seniors still. But guess what kind of SMSes reply they gave me? "Don't give stupid excuses", "don't give weird excuses just because you didn't bring your trunks". I mean like for F*** i would wanna bluff you about it? It's the fact and it's the truth that i can't attend training for the day. But yet, they still force me to attend training and to wear of the spare trunks that myh seniors had. But based on common sense, i can't fit in them! They are too big for me.. Despite HATING THEM FOR THAT TO THE CORE AND FOREVER MORE, i just had to Super Rush all the way back home from school and back to Toa Payoh just for that training. Freaking tired. I'm starting to hate my Water Polo seniors again. They are just Unreasonable! Bloody hell. But at least there are only 1 or 2 senior in there who understand the situation and are willing to listen to me (THANKS ALOT!). Also to thank my Classmates, the I.C.T. members who listened to me and stood up for me in the indirect way.. =X.. ROFLOLMAO.. Thanks anyways.
*
But i'm a person who fight for my Rights till the very end no matter what..=X. The war have not been ended till the seniors understand through and through, maybe even apologize to me because of the disrespect to their fellow Polo members, being unreasonable and also because of the F***ing cocky comments and lecture on me without understanding the situation i'm in..

I made 2 new friends, Cassandra and Rebecca! Nice People... In fact, nice ladies. haha.. I mean like i'm happy i have such friends..

I've received a Silver Medal from 4 x 50m Obstacle relay from a lifesaving competition held on saturday! Jeez. I came in Fourth in super lifesaver...T.T almost bronze.. The top 3s are older than me..T.T.. Haha.. I'm surprised to see the two ladies, Cass and Rebecca.. But they left so early.. LOL.. i miss my friends so easily.. Hee.. (But i still miss one gal alot more!>< (stress) hope she's doing alrite..)

Hey guys..I'm back..

2008-06-18T01:21:00.005+08:00

Hello~It's been awhile since i've last posted anything around here. How are YOU ppl doing? Woah... 10 weeks just past within a single flick of my finger, 8 weeks of studies and 2 weeks of holidays. So many things happened throughout these weeks though..

I haven't been contacting the Regency for quite some time... We seems to have drifted away in the many people that we've started to get to know from RP..

In Class, what's great is my new group of friends within.. Somehow this particular group had became I.C.T. :) Proudly set-up by my friends, Kelvin a.k.a. Kubbon, Benjamin a.k.a. Benji AND I. We are a crazy group though..hehe..

Some stuffs that happened throughout the weeks are some misunderstandings and some other craps. One such, is that at the starti wasn't in good terms with my Water polo captain just because of some equipment and item incident.. Then at the initial start i thought just because he wasn't in good terms with the lifesaving/swimming team, he made big fuss out of this incident and scolded a load off me.. Rather pissed.. It was only until The aquatic camp then i got a good view of what's happening. Indeed. The RP lifesaving team really sucks (referring to the seniors. The juniors are okay). Hee..

Furthermore, they actually TRIED to say that Sports Eagle Lifesaving Team, which is my lifesaving team out there (unknown to them), saying that the team got their swimmers by paying them to help them swim and get medals, besides, advertising in other words. I got a whole lot pissed and I had them shot by my words right in the face. Jeez. Inhumane lot.

Lifesaving..Haiz...Why must your open water training starts after my precious holidays... Man i miss the waves... It just gotta take place when i am around in school, stuck up in some urban new building somewhere on an island, an area in the world, not near to any source of the sea out there.. (besides senoko area..-.-)

I began missing the girl i like more and more and more ever than ever and ever and ever and ever.. She's not online in my msn these days..or should i say weeks or months? I sent her friendster comments invail with no replys even friendster messages. I sent her sms, no reply. I called her, dear old mailbox answered me. I wonder how she's doing now? She's having O level Exams this year.. Hope she's coping well.. Ah.. You peeps remembered about the necklace i bought for her birthday? I'm really glad to hear from my friend who recently met her, and he told me that she wore the necklace. Jeez. i didn't know she accepted it..

I'M GRATEFUL! T.T

(It just sounds as though she has been wearing it for quite some time all along. ~.~ 1st 10,000 tonnes off my shoulders. I mean it's like she was seen wearing the necklace even on days which are so plain and normal, without the thought that she gonna just put it aside and let it stain or leave it till special occasions. Great in the sense that she wears it wherever she go)

My dear old friend told me that he talked to her.. just then, she actually asked about ME. Asking how and where was I, she haven't met me for long.. (T'was wondering whether she did still spare a thought for me.. but due to the current situation, i find it hard to be convinced by this friend according to what he told me about what she said..)

I MISS HER ALRIGHT? i wanna see her too.. just that dear old school's got it's academic schedule clashed with my training..

(End of school-4.30pm; Reach home get my swim stuff-5.30; Reach pool-6.30pm or later)

^~1 hr each trip~^

Oh darn great. Hope she can get into the college she wanted. For the future, let Nature Takes Its Course.

Nowadays, i somehow feel stressed, tired and somehow, my mind, soul and heart are in a whirred status and i felt very very... you know.. Sometimes just feeling like screaming all out to relieve what's in me. But something just feels being trapped in me.. It's dying to unleash itself out of me.. i WISH and HOPE it is something good and extraordinary. But at the same time, i felt something was lost within me, it feels as though something's missing.

The Dark side which sleeps within me with control from the Peace side, actually unleashed part of it and went back to me again today. And that is rage. I actually got so hot-up that my temper just snap itself at the point where it reach it's limit like a rubber band. I actually ticked my mom off. I felt very very VERY guilty afterwards.. Feel like apologizing but i was just fighting for my rights.. Haiz..All about being defensive...

Once again, look up for my friendster for more details about me

Search "Jonger" and you'll get just ONE single result and.. VOILA. that's me. Hah! Easy isn't it?

For msn, Message me your friendster messages and i will give a reply as soon as possible

(i check my friendster everyday. no worries.)

ORIENTATION DAY 3!!!

2008-04-05T00:42:00.004+08:00

Hello Everybody~!

Ok. Same as per usual, morning meetings..

Then we reach school as per usual but there's a whole "herd" of ppl in South Agora... Then err... what did we start off with? Oh oh! We went to sports hall and settle stuffs of bits and pieces.. Then of course we played Di-Du-Diu as the main game while waiting stuffs liddat.. woah.. i've got a great time smacking ppl man...

Terror-Lunch (although i didn't knw what happen)

The lunch box's spoilt by the spoilt chicken wings!!! Eww... well tht's wad i heard. LOL.. So in the end we've got new lunch set.. But i'm still hungry. i think in total, i ate 8 or 9 raisins buns...^^

Orientation shirt!!!

Alright. That shirt makes me look like a student leader...=X.. The shirt itched me throughout everything we did..

Guiness World Record!

Alright! RP's set the new record for the most frog leaping! 1300 or 1400 plus.. how many was it? bah i've forgotten. I'm so honoured to be part of it...*sniff*...XD

Jam N Hop~

Soon lata on, we had the start of the "Main Course" of the night. Jam N Hop! Everyone's super high... Yuni's almost crazy and went out of mind.. She kept reviewing the hot dancing parts over and over again till Melv's camera's batt went low... End of the day, the group of us, Regency a.k.a. Last Warning Team, end the day off in RP with some photo taking, Jump shots and stuffs. On the way to the Station, we even took some shots on the roads.. LOL! Then melv and I had abit fun shocking the others right infornt of their faces by doing a "fake falling act".. They had been shocked out of their wits~!

Goodbyes

Time ta say goodbye! to one person from a group...-.-" Syu's parents are fetching her and the rest of the group went in the station.. Then we had our public cheer out again. (a loud one once more...wee~

At home

YAHOO! IT'S MIDNIGHT!

jeez. my hype trigger set off late... On MSN, everyone had to go hyper with me somehow... lol... Some had already ran out of "hype meter" within them... wee~ so fun~

Orientation Day 2... ~.~

2008-04-03T21:58:00.010+08:00

~Jeez...~

I started off the day with a rude interruption from my parents. early in the morning 7+ and they woke me up.. As per usual in the morning like yesterday, REGENCY MEETING!!! We met in Woodlands MRT station. Of course, Melvin arrived 2nd once again. This time guess what? We've roamed all around the whole Causeway point then back to the station... Well.. there's lesser people today.. Some went for the morning shift and some are sleeping at home i guess... (Maybe they're not interested in the orientation)

This time we had a bumpy ride in a bus from the station to sch~ (i don't understand man... y the bus??? Maybe cos of the Sun..)

Today doesn't seems to start off with much excitement.. Rather boring.. After quite a moment, we've met Syu and Company outside Agora Hall 4 (they went for the morning session). Surprisingly and happily, she joined us again for another round of fun. Well.. What i heard it was a great round of boredom during the morning session..

~.::"Main Course"::.~

YES INDEED. great fun! how izzit? but the "Amazing Race" seems abit... err... honestly speaking.. nth much.. really. Then when my team've finished, we played the game "Blow-Wind-Blow". DAMN FUN! But i somehow have the urge to play "Di Du Diu".. Well.. No choice i guess. SO play along! So in the end what i get? Forfeit. dammit. At first i was heading for victory for my seat. Just then 2 guys wanna catch me up for forfeit. I rammed the first guy down successfully, but sadly, the 2nd guy came for back up and pulled me out.. Jeez...

The ramming was fun!

At the end of the day, we had loads of photo-taking outside Agora Hall 4 till the entrance of RP. Then walked all the way back to causeway point..

SADLY! I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY WATERBOTTLE AND IT CRACKED. IT'S ONLI 2 WEEKS OLD!

Ahh... after buying some stuffs (i didn't buy any.. q=X) then we went up to the breezy carpark for some nice chit-chat.. Vry windy. Great weather anyways.. I LOVE BIG BAD WEATHERS!!

~.::*SADLY*::.~

During the period when we are on the way back to the station, Yuni did a soft one to get our attention.. "Regency oi..." then i'm rather surprised for a split second,"Y IS SHE SO SOFT?".. Without hesitation, of course i did a LOUD ONE..

"OI!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

"OI! why so loud!!! Alamak..."

You know who that is..

~.::Then...Departure... aww... Goodbyes~~~::.~

T.T

~.::On Da Way to Home Sweet Home.::.~

I'm feeling dam hungry again! Va..va...vroom!!! Back to home for a great dinner...~ Ah dammit.. Tomoro 8am meeting in station... So early!!! Nvm. I won't be tired. I'll get hype again.. XD

~.::TA.. DA~~~!!!::.~

REGENCY! Together as one! Our heart as one! Nothing to fret about! So far yet so near. Always Available everywhere! Especially RP, SAS. q=D

Orientation day 1 ~.~

2008-04-02T23:39:00.006+08:00

Ok. All i could describe about today is: Roflolmaomg..

I had a great deal of laughter, fun and suspension with my friends from Regency (Recap: Regency are the group of people i met during SAS Camp). I had a great deal of time waiting around there. When Melvin (one of my friends) reached after having some drifting action with the taxi driver on the way, I'm sorta relieved. But guess what? Melv and I actually managed to make a tour around the basement of Causeway Point before going back to the station and finally meeting the 1st 2 ladies we met for Regency. Minutes pass and some mini-ice-breaking sessions going on~~~

Then super-high Syuhadah (every one call her Syu), came with some frantic movements of greetings (No offence there. Syu *smiles*). Alrite. Nothing to comment abt it but i stood rooted and stunned for a few seconds or so. Well tht's her. I was wondering a tub or bucket of sugar earlier on so tht to get the sugar rush.

8.45am, we set off for RP along with some chit-chats on the way

("...eh! KooKoo!..k..Kuk..KOo..")

i heard alot of these along the way by dear Syu.. After a long walk, we've reached RP. Sadly we had to "go separate ways" from tht time onwards. When i entered the classroom, it was so quiet and i feel so uneasy tht i feel like backing out. Oh ya. i almost messed up my day during the first hour of orientation as i almost tripped and fell infront of the class. Throughout all the moments in the class, everyone's so active on msn. (alrite alrite. i've onli got a handful here on MSN. from wad i've heard is.. EVERYONE!).

After school, the Regency met up with YUNI! (1 of Regency's many leader.) in Dining Hall A (all wadeva u call it. You wanna call it canteen A or hawker or wadsoeva...), another great deal of talking and photo takings, laughter..

TIME REALLY FLIES!

We set-off for Causeway Point once again for a meal. Some sort of dinner i heard... so once again..

("...eh! KooKoo!..k..Kuk..KOo..")~

The dinner with this group, (somehow the group have shrunk at the time), it was fantastic!

At the end of the day, well.. all of us had to face it sooner or later..

GOODBYE!!!

well we departed on the train platform..

Ah... jus now at night when i reached home, JEEZ! I'm hungry again! haha of course. I had another round again without any feeling of being full or hungry. (i've forgotten to remind my mum not to cook my portion anyways..) Then had abit of great chat with Syu (YO Syu! Maybe it's not. wadeva it is, i'm still gonna say it's great!)

Tht's Today.. jus summarized up abit here and there... It may not be good.. Well.. S'long for Orientation 2!

Harlow harlow!

2008-04-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

Hi all. Alright. My name's Jonger (pronounced as jon-jer (can't help it. swiss name)). Well.. i'm turning 17 this coming July. Hmm... Since most viewers are ppl whom i know, my birthday's 26th July v(^^)v. Peace. Don't gimme any birthday bash or whatsoever. I'm currently pursuing my Diploma Of Pharmaceutical Science in Republic Polytechnic, School of Applied Science (Super chirpy lot though..(Regency of orientation camp!! Woohoo~)).. Alright err.. i think i'll do it till this part.. so if anyone of you wanna know abit more here and there, maybe try viewing my friendster. Anymore enquiries, send me a comment through my email, element_026@hotmail.com. Cheers!